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¡¡¡¡±¬Ð¦Ó¢ÕZЦԒ ÓÄĬ£ºBusinessPeople

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¡¡¡¡Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

¡¡¡¡A: We’ve formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out and to figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.

¡¡¡¡Q: How many shipping department personnel does it take to change a light bulb?

¡¡¡¡A: We can change the light bulb in seven to ten working days, but if you call before 2 p.m. and pay an extra $15, we can get the bulb changed overnight.

¡¡¡¡Q: How many Management Information Services guys does it take to change a light bulb?

¡¡¡¡A: MIS (IT) has received your request concerning your hardware problem and has assigned you request number 359712. Please use this number for any future references to the light-bulb issue.

¡¡¡¡±¬Ð¦Ó¢ÕZЦԒ ÓÄĬ£ºBillClintons

¡¡¡¡Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a light bulb?

¡¡¡¡A: Two -- One to promise he’ll do it better than anyone else and

¡¡¡¡one to obscure the issues.

¡¡¡¡A: None -- He’ll only promise "change."

¡¡¡¡A: He doesn’t. He whines a while, says "I feel your pain", and gets

¡¡¡¡congress to pass a billion dollar light security bill, and blames

¡¡¡¡republicans and special interests for not making lightbulbs free

¡¡¡¡±¬Ð¦Ó¢ÕZЦԒ ÓÄĬ£ºRepublicans

¡¡¡¡How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

¡¡¡¡A: Two-one to do it and one to steady the chandelier.

¡¡¡¡A: None, they only screw the poor

¡¡¡¡Q: How many Republican Presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to change a lightbulb ?

¡¡¡¡A: (Dole) When I was a poor boy growing up in Kansas we didn’t have light bulbs. Now I have the housekeeper do it.

¡¡¡¡A: (DuPont) Light bulbs need to be changed? Gosh. I guess the servants have always taken care of that... With a DuPont administration, the power of the free market will be unleashed to produce light bulbs that never need changing.

¡¡¡¡A: (Robertson) Oh, Lord, with thy divine illumination, heal this light bulb!

¡¡¡¡A: (Kemp) It’s morning in America! Why should we worry about light bulbs? Let

¡¡¡¡those doom-crying Democrats worry about light bulbs! [stumble over chair in the dark].

¡¡¡¡A: (Haig) One. Snap to it, soldier!

¡¡¡¡A: (Bush) None. (Bush in an earnest lap dog voice) I resent that question. I’ve answered it before, and I think the media are keeping this thing alive. I think the American people are TIRED of light bulb jokes.

¡¡¡¡Q: How many aides does it take to change President Reagan’s light bulb?

¡¡¡¡A: None, they like to keep him in the dark.

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